Why I Can't Get Design Work

I found this job posting online this morning. I wish I'd made it all up. The worst part is that people actually applied to this guy.

Description:

I need humble graphic design artist that can draw the characters and color them I need two guys standing side by side of each other with there arms crossed and they need to be drawin in the type of style as the characters in the picture I got attach atleast like the one with french braids have bandana around his mouth and nose and the one with the red and white hat on him this will be on the t-shirt if you can draw them better then be my guess make it look cool it will be full body shot of both of the characters... The character with the hat is gonna have red,white,yellow hat turned backward its gonna be fitted Old atlanta hawks hat with the Atlanta basketball jersey the colors is gonna be red,white,and yellow with just the atlanta hawks logo red and white on the front of the jersey with know band on his arm... his shoes red,white and yellow pants white and pants white with red and yellow line going down the side... he have know scraf on his head either last but not least his t-shirt under his jersey gonna be white look at the atlanta hawk picture I attach will help you match the colors with the hat but I dont want the man dribbling the basketball sinble there I want you to put the atlanta hawk sinble so you can see it when his hat in backawrds in the same colors as the sinble on the front of the hat The character with the braids blue hooded sweater with dark green pants and his boots gonna be black... bandana around his mouth and nose will be blue and white looking like a real bandana and his t-shirt under his hooded sweat shirt white THIS IS T-SHIRT DESIGN AND CHARACTERS WILL BE USE FOR CARTOON MOVIE I would like some words around them or under them to make it look urban and you can send me your samaples as well of what you come up with characters will look realistic as possible The characters you will be designing must be a little bit bigger then the characters on the picture thats attach to this post we would like someone with good prices not real high in prices but good a real good job that can work with me and also humble Yes the characters race are two black males on the picture them the ones you will be drawing They pants can be sagging also can even even have they hands in they pocket Be creative but it has to be catchy I guess is more of the thug type of look as some of you might say Please dont put know Pink clothes on them You must be able to work with us on yours prices we aint rich at all or know where near

Employer questions:

(1) What can you bring to this project ? What Programs You Use ? (2) Why you apply to this project ? Are you humble person ? (3) Why should I hire you for this project ? How long you been doing this for ?'